Judge Yourself

The most difficult thing to do is judge yourself. It is always pretty easy to judge those around you. I am not saying that your judgements about them are always correct, but it is easy to do. It is much more difficult to take a long hard look at yourself to see what you are made of.

We have all heard of people moving away for college or travelling in order to find themselves. I myself did this totally unintentionally. I decided that I wanted to move away from my home town in order to go to college. I was not smart enough at that time to decide that I wanted to do it to better myself. I just wanted to get out of my home town. For this reason, my college experience was not all that it could have been. If I was moving away for college today, I think I could get a lot more out of the experience.

Self-examination is necessary for self-improvement. You have to want to change if you are going to change. These two phrases are basically saying the same thing with different words, but they are very true. I come in contact with many different people in my work life. Most of those people are unwilling to change. They have not examined themselves. They have not found themselves. I am open to change, but I have not done as much self-examination as I think I should.

I learned a lot about myself as I went through all of the paperwork for FamiliesFirst. Many of the forms that I completed asked questions that I have never asked myself before. I learned some things about myself and my family, but not as much as I could have. I am a very private person. I am not in touch with my emotions. I hold things in. I don't like to talk about things with other people. I feel embarassment, shame, or that I am letting people down. I don't know if that is something that is just hard-wired into men or if it is just something I stuggle with.

I really need to take a look at myself and learn who I am. I need to learn what I like and dislike. What I truly like and dislike, not what I think I am supposed to like and dislike. I have been trying, but I have a long way to go.