Happiness?

Does anyone really know what happiness is? Are you happy when you are just coasting through life without any challenges? Are you happy when you have little to no responsibility? Are you happy when you are in a relationship? What is happiness?

I work with some guys who are seriously defective when it comes to relationships and life. One of them has never been married, but was in a serious relationship for more than ten years. She left him and now he is bitter, grumpy and nearly cries whenever he talks about the past. He does not think clearly and is on the verge of hating all women.

He accepts that fact that he is a little bit crazy now and has read books about what happens when a relationship ends. What he has read has told him that it will still take him about three years to get over his ex-girldfriend. He is OK with that, but he is still very emotional. The good thing is that he knows what he is going through and has accepted it. The bad part of all this is that he is now very cynical.

Another co-worker was talking about how needy his girlfriend is. She has to be with him all of the time. He sounded like a sixteen year old boy. The only problem is that he is in hi fifties and his girlfriend is sixty. All he does is complain about their relationship. I think he is putting up a front, becuase maybe he feels like that is how men are supposed to act when they are in a relationship. I don't like that at all. Be a man and admit that you are happy in your relationship.

Yesterday, he was complaining again and started talking about his ex-girlfriend that he lived with for sixteen years or so. She had no problem going off and doing her own thing and he did the same. They would do things with their friends instead of eachother. I asked him where she was now. He totally missed what I was saying and told me that she was probably at home watching tv. I repeated my question and he just kind of froze like a deer in headlights. I told him that was why she left him. There was nothing keeping her in the relationship because she already had her own life.

The Queen was telling me about a conversation she had yesterday with a few of her friends. Two of them were talking about how happy they were and the third asked them how it felt to be happy. Then they talked about people who cheat and how it is unbelievable that their spouse is really in the dark and thinks they are happy. I told The Queen that it is because the spouse only thinks they are happy, but is so selfish that they have not asked the other party if they are happy. They probably do not even listen to them at all.

I think my comments caught her off guard. I then told her that she needs to stop working so much and have work-life balance. She is working had to try to get a permanent teaching contract and I appreciate that. We just need to keep working hard to make sure that we have a strong relationship with eachother and our children, especially if we finally get to add another child to our family.