Relationships

Two guys in my office who have both been divorced 2 times had an intersting conversation today. I listened in, but did not speak. In a nut shell, they feel that women are crazy, don't communicate and have their own agendas.

Wow! I know why they have been twice divorced now. I have heard them talk before, but this one was very telling. They are both 50 years old plus. They both have children. They are both very selfish people! One of them referred to his children as baggage at one point in their conversation. That is a very telling statement.

After they left, I started talking about their conversation with two people who sit near me. One of these people is very bitter because he had a 13 year relationship that ended a few years ago. He is still obviously very hurt by that break up. His main point is that people are not honest about what they are looking for and what their real feelings are. I agree with this point and even went one step further.

I told him that the majority of people do not know what love really is. If they did, the divorce rate would not be as high as it is. Most people, including me, are very selfish. We are in a relationship for our own selfish reasons. The difficult part of a relationship is putting that selfishness aside to try to make your partner happy.

I told them that my wife is my best friend and that I love to spend time with my family. I actually feel guilty when I am doing something without my family. I don't feel the need to play golf with the guys every weekend or to get together and drink with the boys every Saturday night. Maybe some guys would think this makes me less of a man, but this is just the way I am.

The other guy in my office is in his early twenties and he agreed with what I was saying. He is very traditional. I don't know if he totally agreed with me or not, but what he said was in agreement with me.

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Race Against Hunger

We started our Thanksgiving pretty early. We had to be downtown by 7:00 to check in for the 5K Race Against Hunger. This was the 5th annual race held by Visalia Emergency Aid Council. The turnout was supposed to surpass last year, and I believe it did.

It was a cold morning, so it was tough to be there an hour before the race was set to start. We had to be there early because my company broke the record for the most participants in the 5K run and 2 mile walk and VEAC wanted a photo of all of our participants. So, I guess we were there for a good reason, but it was very cold.

As the race was about to start, Meg and I began to do some stretches and warm up. She seemed to be doing pretty good in the cold weather. We moved into position and ended up starting toward the back of the pack. As the horn sounded, we began to weave our way slowly through the crowd to get to some open space so that we could run at our pace. Looking back now, that strategy could have been wrong for Meg. Maybe we should have started at the front of the pack.

Meg was struggling from the beginning of the race. She had to go to the bathroom and was also having problems running on the street. I kept trying to take her mind off of all that by talking to her, but it was not helping. About 1/2 mile into the race she finally started to feel OK, but it was still not as good as she felt in our last 3 mile training run. We hit the 1 mile mark and she was still doing OK, but she wanted to slow down a lot.

I continued to encourage her and we were able to keep a pretty good pace. She started to feel a little bit better and for about 1/4 mile we picked up the pace and began to pass a lot of people. She was still doing OK as we hit the 2 mile mark. Then, she hit a wall at about the 2 1/2 mile mark. She was really struggling to continue at our pace. I kept telling her to ignore her problems and breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth. This relaxed her some, but it was still a struggle for her.

As we got close to the 3 mile mark, she tried as hard as she could. We started to pass a few people and she had a really good finish as she saw all of the people lined up at the end of the race. We ended up finishing with an official time of 29:08. Our actual time according to my Garmin Forerunner was closer to 28:53. Either way, it was a great time for Meg's first ever 5K run. I was, and still am very proud of her. I kept telling her she did great.

I didn't see any of my coworkers during the race. They all started in front of us. In the end, there was only one of them that finished in front of us and his time was in the 20 minute range so there was no way we could compete with him. I told this to Meg and again told her that I was really proud of her and that this was a great accomplishment for her.

She already told me that she does not want to run in the race next year. We will see if she changes her mind as time goes on.

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I Am Thankful For...

Today is Thanksgiving. I do not usually get cought up in thinking about what I am thankful for, however Tina's grandma likes to go around the table and ask what everyone is thankful for. I hate this exercise, but it is based upon something that is very good.

We all need to think about the things that we are thankful for from time to time. I think this keeps you humble and makes you appreciate the things you have much more. We all tend to take things for granted, so this exercise is a good one. So, what am I thankful for?

I am thankful for a lot of things, but most importantly my family. I am not really an emotional person. I do not show, or even think about, my feelings. I just go through life like a robot, doing what I am supposed to do. I don't think about enjoying life or what brings me enjoyment. My family puts up with all of this and is always there for me, no matter how I have been treating them lately. This is really important to me.

I am thankful for my health. I have been working on improving my health and it has paid off. I feel much better than I ever have. I feel healthy, vigorous and ready for the world. I can't say that I have always felt this way the past 10 or so years. I have focused on becoming healthy, both physically and mentally, for the last 3 years. I am just thankful that it has not all been in vain.

I am thankful for my job. In this economy, it is great to have any job, especially one that I enjoy most of the time. My job is very flexible, which allows me to be at all of the girls' sporting and school events. I can really be a part of their lives unlike most fathers. I am very thankful for this.

I am thankful that I live in a country that allows me to make my own choices. A country that does have the best interest of it's citizens in mind. One that gives every person any opportunity they choose to pursue. I don't agree with everything the government does and I don't agree with a lot of the people who live here, but there are a lot of worse places I could live right now.

So what are you thankful for?

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Jumping Through Hoops

We are in the middle of all of our paperwork for our background check. I went in for my physical yesterday and everything is great. I had to go to the lab this morning to have them draw blood for a cholesterol screening and get a TB test. The results of the TB test will be read on Friday. I will pick up all of the paperwork from my Doctor on Monday or Tuesday.

I feel pretty good about the process. It has not really been that much work. The big item we have left is to get first aid/cpr certified. We can do it at the Red Cross, but that is an all day class. QTRHT is trying to get an alternative from her school nurse. We will see how that works out.

The Queen and the girls still need to go for their physicals. She and Chachi are trying to go today and I have Cheeseball scheduled for next week. After that, we can send in our paperwork and schedule the first home visit.

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New Family Addition

So the cat is out of the bag. We have been discussing adopting a child for some time now. It really did not get serious until about 2 months ago. The Queen had a child in her class who was placed with a foster family. She noticed a big change in the girl's confidence and appearance. As one of Chachi's high school classes, she is an aid at an elementary school in town. She has a child in that class who is also living with a foster family.

Both Chachi and The Queen really like the children in the classes who are living with foster families. They seem to be really nice, adjusted kids. They started talking about them a few months ago and we decided that it was time to seriously look into adoption. I did some research online and we decided to give FamiliesFirst a try.

I contacted them to get some more information. QTRHT and I read through it and decided to take the next step. We called for an orientation appointment. We met with them on November 11. Everything sounded great, so we started the process. It is a lot of paperwork and we all must have physicals.

We are all very excited to get our new addition. We even asked FamiliesFirst if it was possible to have a child by Christmas and they said it could be a possibility. Cheeseball really wants a little brother or sister, so we are looking for a child that is in first or second grade. So far this has been a pretty painless process. I guess we will see if that continues.

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Easy Ways to Give

Who ever said that there is no free lunch was wrong. There are several easy, free ways that we can all give this holiday season. I have tried these and recommend that you do as well.

1. Give blood. With increased travel during the holidays, there will be increased need for donated blood.
2. Free Rice. Play some games and rice will be donated for each question you answer correctly.
3. The Animal Rescue Site. All you have to do is click on a link.
4. The Breast Cancer Site. Again, all you have to do is click on a link.
5. The Hunger Site. Just click on a link again.
6. Welch’s Harvest of Help. Click on the link and Welch's will donate juice through Feeding America. Their goal is 1 million glasses of juice.
7. Leapfish & Make-A-Wish. Tweet the provided message and Leapfish will make a donation to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
8. Kraft Foods. Send a FREE holiday e-card and Kraft will donate 10 meals to Feeding America.
9. Land O’Lakes – Click where it says “You click, we donate” in the upper right corner of their website and they will donate to fight local hunger.
10. Box Tops. Found on hundreds of products like Cheerios, Chex Mix, Cottonelle, and Kleenex. Clip the Box Top symbol from the package and give it to your child’s school, or a teacher you know. Each Box Top is worth 10¢ for your school. Clipping the Box Top takes just a second and doesn’t cost you anything.

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The 7 Signs of a Leader

I read an interesting post on the website, www.dumblittleman.com, titled "The 7 Signs of a Leader." This really made me think about who I would consider a leader. Do I really know any leaders? After reading this, I don't think I personally know a leader.

That is a very scary thought. I know several local business owners and upper level management types and I don't think any of them meet all of these criteria. Here is the list:

1. Vision
2. Discipline
3. Emotional Strength
4. Experience
5. Respect
6. People Skills
7. Momentum and Timing

One thing that is missing from this list is "communication." I think that is the most important attribute of a leader. They may have buried it under people skills on this list, but I think it is important enough that it should have been its own point.

Here is a link to the article.

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100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know

There is a list of 100 words that every high school graduate should know. The list was compiled by the editors of the American Heritage dictionary. These are the words that they say identify if you have a superior command of the English language.

I took a look at this list and I must say that I do not have a superior command of the English language. I would bet that there are not any high school graduates in the Central San Joaquin valley who can use every word on this list correctly in a sentence.

Here is a link to the list. Let me know if you have a superior command of the English language.

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Entitlement

It seems like a lot of people believe that they have a sense of entitlement. They think that they can do whatever they want to do. This can be something as small as parking where you should not park your car. I see it everywhere.

When you have this sense of entitlement, you seem to forget all of the other people around you. You have become selfish, and that is the biggest problem. You may think that you deserve to do the things you do or that other people are doing it so it is OK. This thinking is just wrong.

I get into little debates over small things like this with some of my coworkers, a lot of whom do have a sense of entitlement. The reasoning they use is just not valid. They say things like, "everyone does it" or "if you can get away with it why not do it." Wow! I must say that this line of reasoning is shocking.

What ever happened to people wanting to do what was the correct, moral thing to do. What happened to parking where you are supposed to and walking a little farther. Is it laziness that is motivating this thinking or is it really selfishness? Or maybe, it even goes deeper than that. I don't know, but it is really troubling.

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Parent-Teacher Conference

I am so proud of Meg. Last night was her parent-teacher conference and her teacher had nothing but great things to say about her. She said that Meg is a quite leader and that she is really well behaved and scholarly. Wow! I was about to tell her teacher that she acts totally different at home, but decided not to.

I told her teacher that Meg is still interested in math and that I want to help her keep progressing before she learns to hate it like most kids. I asked her how best to do that. Her answer was not what I was looking for. She mentioned a website to go to that has math games and that was about it. Meg has played those games at school and seem uninterested to do so at home.

I am going to have to really start working with her on her times tables. Then, we need to keep working on her addition and subtraction. I really want all of it to be second nature to her so she does not get frustrated and start to hate it. I wish I had worked harder when I was younger so that I was faster with my math. Helping her should also help me, so it is a win-win situation.

Meg is very strong in the language arts. She really likes to read, has great penmanship and likes to write. Her teacher said that is her strongest area, and I agree. We need to keep encouraging her to read so she loves it like Tina does. I go throug reading spurts, but I would not go as far as to say that I love it. I wish I did, but I just don't. More on the book I am currently reading in a later post.

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Training is in Full Swing

Last night, Meg and I extended our run to just under 2.4 miles and she did great. She did not get a side ache at all and she did not need to stop and walk because of fatigue. She did stop once because she said she got fuzz in her eye.

She made a game of our run. She would run up ahead of me and then slow down and wait for me. This kept her entertained and interested in her run. The only complaint she had was when we started the lap again to extend the run. I think she was just done running at that point and did not want to continue. It ended up taking us about 29 minutes for that run.

We are going to skip the run tonight and will continue our training tomorrow. I am going to extend our run again and am hoping that it will end up being about 3 miles. I would really like for us to run that distance a few times before next week so Meg will be prepared.

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This is Getting Out of Control

So I got another message from my gnome-nappers last night after my reply. They even sent a couple more photos. One of our gnome by an elevator and the one showing above. Here was their reply, "Don't worry i got away from them. They were mean. I am back closer to home having fun with some real friends.

Your Gnome,

Homie"

They are now corrupting our poor little gnome with alcohol. What is going through the minds of these sick people. Everyone knows that even a little bit of alcohol can kill a gnome. Their poor little bodies just cannot handle it. I sure hope that they did not give him too much. We really do hope to see our gnome again by Thanksgiving.

I really doubt that our gnome was even in Tulare at all. I think he may have been vacationing on an island in the Pacific. Ah, yes. I hope he liked the view from the balcony of the condo.

BRING OUR GNOME HOME!

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Gnome Update

I got another email message supposedly from our gnome. The text was, "Tulare is scary." It was accompanied by the photo you see here. This is just sick! Here is the text of my reply, "We just want our gnome back. Please don't hurt him and don't torture him anymore. We need him back for the holidays...in one piece."

I don't know what is going through the mind of this sick kidnapper. Why would you torture a harmless little garden gnome like this. Perhaps the kidnapper was tormented in elementary school. Maybe they were picked on by everyone else in their class and now they are just taking it out on an innocent gnome. Whatever the reason, this person is twisted.

I just hope our gnome is returned to us soon. We would hate to be gnomeless for the holiday season. Senseless violence against gnomes is a hate crime and will be treated as such when I testify against the kidnapper.

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New Message from My Gnome

I got another message from my gnome last night. Here is the message:

"I just want you to know that i am fine. I was tired of being in your yard with nobody paying attention to me so i will be gone for a while longer. Don't worry i will be back soon. I think that i want to travel a little and i am thinking of going to Tulare tomorrow.

Homie Gnomie.

P.S. I have changed my name for my new adventure."

It was accompanied by the photo above. It is troubling, buy I think my suspicions are confirmed by looking at the photo. I hope to get our gnome back soon.

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Where has my Garden Gnome Gone

I have not heard anymore from the kidnappers of my garden gnome. I have not received a ransom letter. I have not been sent any photos of my gnome in Paris. Where is he?

I find it hard to believe that someone would kidnap my gnome just to torture my family. We are finding it more difficult to carry on with our boring lives with each passing day that our gnome is missing. I don't know how much longer we can go on. We have chosen not to get law enforcement involved up to this point because we don't want this to get messy.

As I have said before, we have a history with our gnome. We have had a lot of good times together. The kids have played with him in the back yard. He has watched Meg grow up. These are memories that you cannot replace.

If the kidnapper is reading this blog, please return our gnome! Our family does not feel complete any more. We can't imagine celebrating the holiday season without our garden gnome.

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What is a Hero?

With tomorrow being Veteran's Day, I thought I would explore a topic that is relevant. Most people consider people who "serve" in our military a hero. I question that type of labeling. What makes someone who serves in the military a hero just because they served?

Are you a hero for killing someone from another country? Are you a hero for destroying the infrastructure of a foreign city? Are you a hero for blindly taking orders? Are you a hero for being stationed in San Diego for 4 years? What makes a member of the military a hero?

If you do something heroic, you should be labeled a hero. I don't think you earn that label just because you choose the military as a profession. And let's face it, that is what it is. The same as being a police officer, fire fighter, teacher or postal worker. It is just a profession, and for many people it is the best profession they could ever hope for. You get to travel. All of your meals and living expenses are covered. Your medical, dental and vision needs are taken care of for you. Your college expenses get paid for. And you even get a pay check. Granted, the check is not that large, buy they are for the most part uneducated members of our workforce. Does any of this make you a hero. If it does, then I know a lot of heroes.

I don't think people should be labeled as heroes just because they choose a certain profession. I think you are a hero for what you choose to do. For your actions. For what you "fight" for. I guess I am just a bit more picky in who I label a hero.

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Training Has Begun

Meg and I have started training for the Visalia Emergency Aid Race Against Hunger. It is a 5K run that will take place on the morning of Thanksgiving day. This will be my second 5K run and Meg's first. She is pretty excited.

Our first day or training was Saturday and she did very well. Soon after we started, she complained that her side hurt and she walked for about 30 seconds. I got her to run again and she did very well. I was helping her work on increasing her stride and running properly. About half way through our 2.2 mile run, she asked me when we were going to walk again. I told her we were not going to. A little while later, she was walking again.

I let her walk for about 30 yards and then got her to run again. She made it all the way home without having to walk again. She complained that her legs were frozen, she needs some sweat pants of some sort to run in. She then got undressed and laid in bed. She fell asleep in no time at all. She did very well for her first time running that distance. I think she might even be able to place in the 5K run.

The last time I was running, I had a lot of ankle pain. There were times when I had to stop and walk in the middle of my run. I took about 2 months off to let my ankles heal and I think that did the trick. I did not have any pain on our run or the next day. My legs are a little sore, but nothing major.

Tonight will be our second training day. We are going to run the same distance every day this week, then we will extend our run to the 3.1 mile distance.

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I am an Art Snob

I have decided that I am an art snob. I joke with a guy at work that he is a food snob, a tequila snob and is a snob about various other items. Now, I have realized that I to am a snob.

I really like the Autumn because my two favorite events happen this time of year. Halloween and Dia de los Muertos. My only problem is that I am very picky about the type of decorations that I like. First of all, they have to be fairly unique. Second, they can't just be slasher type items. I like the items to have a folksy or almost cartoon feel to them. They need to have unique colors and textures and have to tell a story.

I think this is why I am drawn to Dia de los Muertos so much. Most of the artwork for this "holiday" is hand made and has a Mexican folk art feel to it. I really like this style a lot. I wish that there were more Halloween decorations with the same feel available.

I have scoured the internet looking for items that I like. I have tried ebay and etsy with not much luck. Most of the items on etsy are just really small. I have found some I like, but I need things that are larger in scale for my home. I like the work by Flor Lario which can be found here. I also like the work of Lupe Flores. I would like to be able to purchase larger, original paintings by these two artists, but I have only found the smaller pieces and prints of their paintings.

I am not giving up. I will start looking much earlier next year. I think I may even try to construct a Dia de los Muertos alter for next year.

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Garden Gnome Still Missing

My garden gnome is still missing. I replied to the email I received, but my gnome has not been returned to me yet. Garden gnome, we miss you, come home...come home. Garden gnome, we miss you, come home...come home.

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The Sanctity of My Home Has Been Violated

I think I pay attention to details more than most people, but I guess I do not after all. Obviously, I have missed a very important detail of my house the past few days. Last night I received an email message that was signed, "Your Gnome."

The following message was sent to my gmail account at 5:57 PM last night, "I see you don't miss me. I ran away from you since you do not pay attention to me. If you want me back all you have to do is ask and i will come home. Hopefully i will see you soon." I read the message at about 7:30 PM and immediately went outside to check to see if my fears were realized. They were. My gnome was missing.

After confirming he was missing, I immediately sent a reply to the email address that the original message was sent from, gnomebodyshomenow@gmail.com. Here is my reply, "Please come home gnome. We really do miss you. I wish you would have told me that you felt unloved. A relationship should be built on communication. See you soon." I think this sums up my feelings quite well.

My wife bought the gnome for me for Christmas about 4 years ago. It was in the back yard of our old house from that day forward. When we moved to our new house last December, my brother placed the gnome in our front yard under a rose bush by our garage. There he has remained ever since. I am guessing that the gnome was kidnapped on Halloween night, which means I have missed him being gone for 3 days. That is bad on my part.

The real question is, who kidnapped him? It has to be someone who knows my email address and it has to be someone who is ornery. I can narrow it down to just a few people who were at our Halloween party on Saturday night. Either our friend Chris or our niece Hailey. I don't care who it was, I just want him to come home safely very soon. I hope they don't demand a ransom.

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New Weezer Album Quick Review

I preordered the new Weezer album, Raditude, a few weeks ago. I first received the single, "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" at that time and I really like that song. The entire album was downloaded early this morning. I listened to it a few times through at work and think that it is a strong Weezer album.

There are some good Weezer songs on the album and some of the bonus tracks are good as well. I really like the bonus track "Kids/Poker Face," but I have been listening to that for sometime now. I like the "I Want You To", "Tripping Down the Freeway", "Let It All Hang Out" and even "Can't Stop Partying" which features a rap by Lil Wayne. I think at this point "Let It All Hang Out" might be my favorite song on the album.

The band is experimenting with some R&B and rap and they are mixing it with their rock sound very well. These songs come off as good Weezer songs. The one song I don't quite understand is the ballad "Love Is The Answer." It features a sitar and has an Indian sound. I may have to listen to this song some more for it to grow on me. I don't think it works as well as Cornershop's album "When I Was Born For The 7th Time." I don't mind the band experimenting because most of what they do really works.

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Time Change

Daylight Savings Time really screws me up for a few weeks after it begins and again when it ends. You would think that when it ends and we fall back one hour it would not affect you very much, but it does. This evening I was really off and I was not the only one. Meg kept saying that it was really one hour later.

It just seems that when it gets dark so early you get tired early. I was watching Monday Night Football and actually fell asleep in the middle of the game. Tina and Meg fell asleep early watching Friends. I am hoping the same thing will not happen tonight as we have some errands to run.

I would be happy if the time never changed. I know that it started as a way to allow farmers better daylight hours for farming and it has also been used to try to conserver energy. I don't think that it is worth the hassle. In this day and age, we have artificial lighting that allows us to work outside even when it is dark. We are also doing a better job of conserving energy, so this time change is no longer necessary. I would like to see the hard facts to learn if it is really necessary.

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Halloween Recap

We spent our first Halloween in our house and I am exhausted. Because Tina's mom is in Mexico for Dia de los Muertos, we decided to do Halloween night at our house. We also decided to have a friend birthday party for Meg at our house in the afternoon.

The afternoon friend party went off without a hitch, but Meg's friends are a wild bunch. I see why she likes them. They played hide-and-go-seek, bounced on the trampoline and just ran around the house playing. The parents picked up their children at almost exactly 3:00, so we had some time to rest before the night crowd started showing up at 5:00.

Everyone started gathering around 5:00 and the kids were ready to go trick-or-treating by about 6:30. I wasn't sure what to expect since it was the first year to trick-or-treat in our neighborhood. Some of our neighbors went all out with decorations. I would say a little more than 50% of the people were home. There was a pretty good crowd of kids walking through the neighborhood. The trick-or-treating at our house was over by about 8:30 which was surprising since it was a Saturday night.

Meg was the daughter of Captain America, I was Nacho Libre the monastery cook and Tina was Sister Encarnación. My parents showed up dressed as Superman and Supergirl. Kathleen and Lisa were both dressed as witches and Jaime was a vampire. Most people did not get who I was, but that was OK. It was a long night.

The Halloween song playlists I prepared disappeared into the background, which I thought would happen. They did help to set the mood.

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