The Sanctity of My Home Has Been Violated

I think I pay attention to details more than most people, but I guess I do not after all. Obviously, I have missed a very important detail of my house the past few days. Last night I received an email message that was signed, "Your Gnome."

The following message was sent to my gmail account at 5:57 PM last night, "I see you don't miss me. I ran away from you since you do not pay attention to me. If you want me back all you have to do is ask and i will come home. Hopefully i will see you soon." I read the message at about 7:30 PM and immediately went outside to check to see if my fears were realized. They were. My gnome was missing.

After confirming he was missing, I immediately sent a reply to the email address that the original message was sent from, gnomebodyshomenow@gmail.com. Here is my reply, "Please come home gnome. We really do miss you. I wish you would have told me that you felt unloved. A relationship should be built on communication. See you soon." I think this sums up my feelings quite well.

My wife bought the gnome for me for Christmas about 4 years ago. It was in the back yard of our old house from that day forward. When we moved to our new house last December, my brother placed the gnome in our front yard under a rose bush by our garage. There he has remained ever since. I am guessing that the gnome was kidnapped on Halloween night, which means I have missed him being gone for 3 days. That is bad on my part.

The real question is, who kidnapped him? It has to be someone who knows my email address and it has to be someone who is ornery. I can narrow it down to just a few people who were at our Halloween party on Saturday night. Either our friend Chris or our niece Hailey. I don't care who it was, I just want him to come home safely very soon. I hope they don't demand a ransom.